Archive for April, 2012

Dear digestive system

April 30, 2012

I know you hate me. But guess what? I hate you even more.

Hatefully,

The body that houses you

Chimpanzee

April 29, 2012

Mom and I went to see the movie today. We loved it — the photography and the storytelling were great, and it was very heartwarming.

We had been talking about going to see the movie for a long time, and I was waxing philosophical about it last night as I was going to bed. Jane Goodall proved through her research that chimpanzees use tools to acquire food, thereby dispelling the notion that the difference between animals and humans is the ability to use tools. The idea that animals didn’t have the capacity for memory has also been dispelled — elephants have been observed rejoicing when reunited with former friends and grieving the loss of fellow members of their troop.

So, what separates humans from animals?

I would propose that we are separated from animals by our ability to base our actions on our sense of what is right and wrong. Animals act on instinct — a lioness kills a zebra because she needs to eat; a tribe of chimpanzees invades the territory of another tribe because the natural resources they depend on for survival have been depleted. It’s not right or wrong — it just IS.

Any thoughts?

April showers

April 29, 2012

do not bring May flowers.

We started off the year with a very nice amount of rain, and the National Weather Service even downgraded the severity of the drought throughout the state. The spring was so nice and rainy and warm that we had a great crop of bluebonnets and other wildflowers bloom on the early side, at the end of March.

Now, though, the water has been cut off. The weathermen have been predicting rain for today for the whole week, but last night they changed the forecast and said it wasn’t going to rain, after all. Summer is definitely here — we’ve only had 1/10″ of rain this month, and we’re already over 90°F outside and in Stage 2 watering restrictions.

I want to move somewhere where it rains. 😦

Talking to strangers

April 26, 2012

Mom and I went to Hobby Lobby (again!) today to pick up some scrapbook supplies. (That’s the downside of completing projects so quickly — you’re constantly running out of materials!)

Anyway, she was wheeling me down the Disney sticker aisle when I commented that it was too bad that nobody carries Teddy Ruxpin stickers.

Mom: Nobody knows who Teddy Ruxpin is.
Me (sarcastically): Yeah, since he was only one of the most popular toys of the ’80s
Lady at the end of the aisle: It would be nice to still have one of those around. You could make a lot of money selling one!

And the conversation went on from there, going from Teddy Ruxpin to Beanie Babies and Cabbage Patch Kids. And we found out that there are, indeed, people who still remember Teddy Ruxpin.

Okay, I lied (and I found it)

April 25, 2012

I worked on the dog album before I worked on my high school travel albums. But it is now finished, and I am working on the travel album now. While I was digging out the supplies for that album, I finally found the graduation card I wanted to put in my high school album — it’s from my grandmother, and it goes like this:

If a dog and a rabbit both travel on land at the speed of light divided by the number of hairs on their respective bodies, but the dog sheds 23% of its fur during shedding season whereas the rabbit loses only 19%, yet the rabbit normally has only .394 times the number of hairs of the dog, and the dog swims twice as fast as the rabbit unless the water is below 40° Fahrenheit, in which case the dog travels 10 MPH slower for every degree under 40, and they begin a race at 7:53 AM (Pacific Standard Time) on April 3 from Omaha to Tokyo following the Great Circle Route, who would win?

Extra Credit: The visionary tetrametric runes of which melancholy diminutive Lithuanian poet/mechanic of the mid-19th century anticipated the above-mentioned contest?

(Inside of card)

Hey! You’ve graduated, so it’s really not your problem anymore! CONGRATULATIONS!

Poppy and Bonkers

April 23, 2012

(This post might be a little easier to understand if you grew up watching TV in the Dallas area in the 80s.)

Mom has been a little scatterbrained lately, and it’s really making her frustrated. Conversation from the other day:

Mom: KITTY, I am going BONKERS!
Me: I guess that makes me Poppy…
Mom: Is that the name of that other clown?
Me: Yeah, Poppy and Bonkers. Our Girl Scout troop got to go on the show once, remember?
Mom: Yeah!
Me: You know, we should make this our Halloween costume for this year!

Payback

April 22, 2012

I have to be really careful to keep myself from getting cuts and sores — the chemo keeps them from healing properly, and it’s hard to keep them from getting infected.

Last night, my mom, stepdad and I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle from Oklahoma. All the ladies were sitting together in the back seat of the car, and the sharp edge of the heel on Mom’s left shoe gouged out a wedge of flesh on the side of my leg. “Ouch!” I said.

Later on at the restaurant, I noticed that the dessert list featured Limoncello cheesecake. I figured that Mom might like to try it, so I elbowed her to catch her attention.

OW! What did you do that for?!” she said.

Then it dawned on me… she’d cracked two ribs a week ago in a freak accident in my bathroom. And I had just elbowed her cracked ribs.

I guess that backs up my motto: “Hit me first and I’ll hit you back harder!”

Sorry, Mom!

Mayhem

April 20, 2012

It’s no secret — I like to watch commercials. Some of them are amusing, and some of them make me shake my head and wonder what is WRONG with these people? Mom and I had a commercial-inspired conversation today:

Me: Mom, slow down. You’re going too fast.
Mom: Close your eyes and pray.
Me: [closing eyes]
Mom: [slowing down abruptly and changing lanes]
Me (opening my eyes): Mom!
Mom: Sorry, I made you open your eyes. Tell you what — you shut your eyes and tell me when to turn left.
Me (with my eyes shut): How am I supposed to tell you when to turn left if I can’t see the TURN LEFT NOW!!!!
Mom: [giggles]

Work

April 19, 2012

I don’t usually spend my time thinking about Christian theology — I am Jewish, after all. But this morning on the Discovery Channel (surprisingly enough, since this kind of thing usually airs on the History Channel) there was a show where historians were speculating as to the childhood of Jesus, since not much is mentioned about it in the New Testament.

One of the historians said that he liked the idea of Jesus sitting at a carpenter’s bench with his father in their small town, the Son of G-d/Man learning the virtue of work. I think he missed the point a little, though. When I look at the Bible through Christian glasses, I like the idea of Jesus learning to work, too, but for a completely different reason. In Christianity, work is the punishment handed out to Adam (and thus to man in general) for committing original sin and eating of the forbidden fruit. Jesus’ arrival on Earth is meant to erase the sins of all who believe in him as G-d’s son — sins whose punishment is work. So what better way for the son of G-d to learn to be fully human and prepare to cleanse humanity’s sins than by performing work?

I want one!

April 10, 2012

Today we went to the pet store to have our dogs groomed and saw a small selection of cats up for adoption. They were in cages behind a glass wall, and one male was particularly affectionate. Every time we put our hands up to the glass wall, he would rub up against it as though he were trying to rub up against us. If I were able to adopt a cat, I would have taken him home in a heartbeat. I hope he is adopted soon…