Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Ewwwwww.

May 27, 2012

Usually when Mom and I go on trips, I’m the one who does all the planning.  This time, though, she picked out a hotel over my objections.

It was clean — no bugs or anything — but it was still gross.  At breakfast, the milk was sitting out on the bar in a gallon jug with no ice or refrigeration, and our room was so humid that the sheets felt wet (and I was surprised our clothes didn’t grow mold).

From now on, I pick the hotels.

Yikes!

May 25, 2012

As Mom and I were driving up to Dallas today, we were listening to music from my iPod with the aid of an iPod-to-tape-deck converter.  We had to turn the volume of the car stereo system up very loud to be able to hear the music.

Then Mom ejected the converter from the tape deck and the radio came BLARING on.  Scared the POOPOO out of us.

We darn near to drove off the road!

Yummy popcorn

May 14, 2012

Better than anything I’ve ever tasted before:

Put 1/4 to 1/3 cup popcorn kernels in a brown paper lunch bag and seal with clear or masking tape. Microwave on high for 2-3 minutes, until there are 3 seconds between pops. Remove from microwave and season as desired with butter and salt.

I’m glad I crack my mom up

April 3, 2012

My hair has been driving me nuts lately.  I’m working on growing my hair out, but it’s not yet long enough to pull in a ponytail.  As a solution, I pulled it back in a headband, which reminded my mom of this:

Image

We had seen them at the New England Aquarium in Boston when we went on my college search back in 2001.

Restrooms along the way

January 19, 2012

Every road trip requires pit stops to use the restroom.  During our trip, I discovered that the bathrooms along the Gulf Coast are quite interestingly decorated.  Observe the following:

Guarding the entrance to the bathroom at a restaurant on the beach in Pensacola:

 

At McDonald’s in Texas:

 

At a French restaurant in Florida:

 

Behind a country store in Texas:

It is finished

June 30, 2011

Today I became officially Jewish!

The most interesting question I was asked: “What do you not like about Judaism?”

The most interesting thing that I learned: 235 pounds of fat girl is a lot more buoyant than 149 pounds of skinny girl.  Talk about having two floaties stuck to the front of your chest!

The thing that went the most wrong: The door malfunctioned and I got locked in the mikveh.

All in all, a great day. 🙂

Almost as bad as “nucular”

June 18, 2011

I think that if you’re a chef, you should know how to pronounce what you’re cooking.  So, for those of you who are interested, the word “chipotle” is pronounced “chee poht lay”, NOT “chip ohl tee”.

You may now go back to your regularly scheduled cooking.

99 bottles of barium on the wall

May 31, 2011

99 bottles of barium,

you take one down,

pass it around,

98 bottles of barium on the wall.

(Okay, so it was only two bottles of barium, and they were chocolate mocha flavored, but they still weren’t fun to drink.  It’s fair to say that I was grumpy for most of the day.  Thank goodness for the pho restaurant near the doctor’s office.)

Irony

April 24, 2011

On the table at the luncheon at my grandma’s place today — Easter ham and Passover matzah.  (I ate the matzah.)

My dog

April 7, 2011

just licked my bean dip.  In a big way.

I scraped off the top and dipped my nachos in it anyway.